More Elderly People are Seeking Divorce


It’s never too late to make a fresh start, so the saying goes, and one man who has certainly taken that message to heart is octogenarian actor, Ed Asner. At the ripe old age of 85, he has finally gotten around to divorcing his wife Cindy.

It may be worth pointing out the irony of the fact that Ed’s most recent starring role was in the animated movie Up! in which he played the part of Carl Fredrickson – a man so deeply in love with his wife that he defies not only his local council but even the laws of physics in order to posthumously keep a lifelong promise to her that he had never made good on.

But it seems that Ed is not alone in deciding to make the change in what many would regard as the twilight years of life. According to data sourced from the Office for National Statistics, the percentage of people aged 65 and over in the UK filing for divorce has risen more than for the whole adult population.

Infographic: Older People Divorcing – (Source – ons.gov.uk)

What could be the reason for this phenomenon – is it simply that people get grouchier as they get older? While it would be kind of fun to think there is a simple comical explanation like that, the truth is probably a bit more complex. Here are a few reasons that can be put forward to explain why the elderly are not only divorcing in ever-increasing numbers, but at a faster rate than everyone else:

  • They’ve had plenty of time to make up their minds
    This is fairly logical. If you can’t decide after 40 or more years of living together that you don’t like somebody, you’ll probably never decide. Sure, most people do make up their minds a lot sooner than that, but some of us don’t like to be rushed.
  • It’s no longer taboo
    Back in the day; it was mostly only kings and Hollywood celebrities who got divorces. There were numerous reasons for this, but primarily most people avoided divorce even if they were unhappy together because there was enormous social pressure against it. You could be the subject of a huge scandal in your local community, especially if you remarried, and particularly if you were a woman who remarried. That counted double for women who intended to remarry with a king. See, there was a kind of double standard in play – kings could divorce willy-nilly if they so chose (although this usually involved having to lop off the head of the unfortunate queen), but if they wanted to marry a woman who had been divorced, everyone went nuts.   These days there is no more scandal attached to divorce than there is to changing your brand of toothpaste.
  • People are living longer
    There may well have been a thought: “I only have to endure this torture for a few more years and then one way or another I’ll be free”. But then 20 years go past, and then another 20…you can begin to get the idea that you may be in for a long haul here.
  • Many elderly now have higher net wealth
    Not everyone who seeks a divorce is a heartless monster, despite the bitter monologue you may have been forced to listen to by some friend who has been divorced. In fact, some of these tales of woe can be so lengthy and so bitter that you actually begin to have some sympathy with the “monster”. So in times past, people often stayed with their spouse out of a sense of duty. They weren’t in love, but they still cared enough not to want to see the person they had married starve to death in the streets. But now many elderly couples have amassed wealth, and so that concern is greatly diminished.

Here at Hylton-Potts we have also noticed this trend of increasing numbers of elderly people coming to us for help with divorce, so I would just like to take a moment to remind readers that all are welcome, regardless of age or circumstances.

ONS data also reveals some other interesting facts:

Infographic: Divorces in England and Wales, 2012 – (Source – ons.gov.uk)

As can be seen, the total number of divorces in England and Wales rose only slightly between 2011 and 2012, which probably also indicates that the per-capita divorce rate actually fell slightly. We can also see that as a reason for the termination of a marriage, divorce fell slightly, and since the only other option is death, that must mean that more married people were dying, yet science tells us that married people live longer.

The per-capita divorce rate fell sharply in comparison to 2002, so even though the next set of data shows that people most commonly tend to seek divorce in their early-to-mid-forties, the per-capita divorce rate among the elderly increased sharply, as I pointed out earlier.

It is the next set of data that is of most concern. I can only imagine the look on the face of some radical feminist as she triumphantly brandishes this information as “conclusive proof” that all men are rascals.   The problem with this kind of raw data is that it does not give a full picture of what really happened. Because in England and Wales there is no proper access to a true “no-fault” divorce procedure, many men agree to “take the blame” so that the proceedings can be gotten over with more quickly.

Amazingly no-fault divorces were tabled in the Family Law Act 1996, but the government never enacted them, and so for the moment if neither party to a divorce is willing to accept blame (whether justified or not) then they will have to wait a minimum of two years before they are able to be granted a divorce.

Not having a no-fault divorce is a serious problem that will eventually need to be addressed and corrected. As things stand at the moment, when blame can be assigned, and when one party to a divorce can be viewed as “winning”, it could have an impact on the division of assets and other matters such as child custody.

Since that is an unfair situation, and since the law is supposed to be fair, it is a situation that should not be allowed to continue indefinitely into the future.

This wasn’t something Ed Asner had to worry about, and even if he had applied for divorce in England he still would have qualified due to having already been involved in a lengthy separation. But if you are in the unfortunate position of having to seek a divorce, then at least you can rely on Hylton-Potts to help you navigate your way through the legal minefield of the divorce laws as they currently stand.

 

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