Divorce – Seven Mistakes to Avoid


No matter what anyone tells you, divorce is never as simple as you expect it to be. This is the case even when a couple is in complete agreement with each other that it is time to each go their separate ways, and even when there is no dispute over who gets what. That is an ideal divorce, and it still is very likely to be far more complicated than you would initially expect.

When a couple parts on less-than-friendly terms, which is very often the case, the result can be far worse. Divorces are usually emotionally charged. Even though the law likes to steer well clear of emotion, with divorce it is nearly always impossible to avoid it.

Not surprisingly, with so much at stake, there are many ways to get into difficulty. This guide will help define some of the most commonly encountered mistakes made by divorcing couples, and will provide some advice for how to avoid those mistakes.

The one thing I would like you to keep uppermost in your thoughts is that the greatest error you can make is to proceed without any kind of legal assistance. The intention may be to save money, but in the long term it will usually prove much more expensive to attempt to handle a divorce entirely on your own, as we’ve actually shown in a previous post here on the Hylton-Potts law blog.

Mistake 1: Believing that a currently amicable state will persist indefinitely

So you and your ex both agree that it’s time to move on, and you’re happy with a 50/50 split of assets between yourselves. Great! That’s a really good start. But let’s put things in perspective for a moment.

When you started this relationship, did you imagine things were going to break down so badly that you’d end up in the situation you are in now? How can you be sure, then, that the relationship is not going to break down even further once the divorce proceedings start?

Our experience has shown that nearly always, when the divorce really kicks off, there is a further deterioration in the relationship and at that point the reality hits. The person you are divorcing may no longer feel any sense of responsibility toward you, and in some cases may even descend into pure selfishness and open hostility. We always hope we won’t see it, but more often than not we do see it.

Mistake 2: Assuming that a 50/50 split is automatically awarded

The reality is that the 50/50 division is just a benchmark that the court starts from in considering how things should be divided. There is then a whole range of factors that come into the equation, and depending on the court’s assessment of these factors, the numbers can swing very dramatically one way or the other.

For a list of some of the factors a court considers, refer to our post “What is a fair way to divide property?“.

Mistake 3: Under-estimating how much your financial situation may change after the divorce

This one sneaks up on a lot of unsuspecting victims. Often an attempt at fairness can backfire, and not necessarily because the other party intentionally takes advantage.

Sometimes it is simply because a person fails to properly estimate their financial needs, and so they end up asking for too little or conceding too much.

Living as a single person, you will find that expenses that were previously shared are now your burden alone, and it is far more expensive to prepare meals for one person than it is for two or more. Your expenses are likely to be increased by as much as 25% or even more compared to cohabiting.

Mistake 4: Failing to anticipate disaster

If you apply for ancillary relief or child support payments, you may think your problem is solved when the request is granted. But if your former spouse dies or is seriously injured, those payments would be likely to stop. You should therefore request that provisions are made in life insurance and employment insurance policies to be certain that you will continue to receive your entitlements.

Mistake 5: Fighting to keep an asset you can’t afford

Suppose that the judge says you get to keep the marital home. Before you crack open the champagne, you need to consider whether you can really afford to own it.

If there is still considerable debt outstanding on the asset, then selling won’t net you any real gains (and may even result in a loss), while if you keep it, you will be liable for making the payments on it. You will also have to pay taxes and other compulsory fees.

If the construction of the home is incomplete, or if extensive repairs are needed, you will be the one who has to pay for the work, so these are all things you need to consider.

The same criteria can also be applied to other large assets. A car, for example, may have a large outstanding liability and it might need to be registered (and if it was formerly registered in joint names, it may need to be re-registered in your name alone). If you’re the one who gets to keep the car, you will also be responsible for insuring, maintaining and repairing it. That means that if it is an expensive car, your annual expenses are likely to be quite high indeed.

It is worth also bearing in mind that if a judge awards a “big ticket” item such as a house or car to one party, there is a very good chance that the judge will try to balance things by granting more generous provisions to the other party when it comes to considering what to do with smaller assets. In some cases, this can actually mean that the party that “loses” actually ends up in the better position.

Mistake 6: Deceiving the court

Some people try to bias the case in their favour by intentionally giving false information. The truth always gets found out, and the consequences for those found lying can be serious.

To start with, the judge in your divorce hearing is going to be far less sympathetic to you if it is obvious that you have attempted an intentional deception. In the worst outcome, you could even receive a sentence for your efforts.

It simply is not worth the risk, and with quality legal advice there is no need for sneaky tactics. It should be possible to get a fair outcome simply on the merits of the situation, and your legal consultant can help make sure that you get the best outcome.

Mistake 7: Neglecting to consult expert help with decisions

Considering what is at stake, it is amazing how many people place large sums at risk by trying to save relatively small sums. At the very least, you’ll need a legal expert to make sure there are no legal flaws in your plans, and to make sure that you are not disadvantaged by the process.

Legal consultants such as Hylton-Potts are the least expensive option, because there is just a simple fee to be paid, and none of the additional expenses that solicitors charge.

Beyond that, if your assets are more substantial and you can afford it, financial planners and tax advisers can prove to be a good investment. You can also integrate all of these services, which is something your legal consultant can help to arrange.

It is important to be certain that the sources you consult are genuinely experts in their field. Relying on Internet-based resources, for example, can be problematic. The information you find on the Internet may be unqualified, not relevant to UK law, or it could be years out-of-date.

When faced with divorce, the most sensible thing to do is give us a call on 020 7381 8111 or send an email to [email protected].

We would be interested in your comments, maybe you have had similar experiences or have an interesting story about your own divorce.